Intent: Humility
Many songs have been written about regret, but few have the power of a tune called “Hurt.” It was written for Nine Inch Nails, and then recorded by Johnny Cash.
“I wear this crown of thorns / Upon my liar’s chair.” Cash sings these lines in his deep baritone. “Full of broken thoughts / I cannot repair.”
Regret. It’s a powerful emotion.
One that is common to us all.
Looking back, we have regrets about things we have done and things we failed to do. We regret our moral failures right along with our failures to embrace promising and positive opportunities. Like Johnny Cash, we are “full of broken thoughts,” ruminating on things we “cannot repair.”
Regret is hard to handle, but it is not a bad emotion. In fact, it has the power to improve our lives. Daniel Pink has written a book called The Power of Regret, one that explores how regret can help us to make smarter decisions, improve our performance in school and at work, and enjoy more meaningful lives.
We shouldn’t run from regret. Instead, we should learn from it.
“Regret is a tool that helps us learn,” says Pink in an interview. “It’s adaptive. Our culture has gone overboard on positivity, when in fact negative emotions are more valuable.”
In the Gospel of Luke, Jesus told a parable to some people who had no regrets. They “trusted in themselves that they were righteous and regarded others with contempt”. If they were alive today, these folks would have “No Regrets” tattooed on their arms.
“Two men went up to the temple to pray,” said Jesus, “one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector”. The people listening to Jesus understood immediately that the Pharisee was a devout person, and the tax collector was a sinner.
The Pharisee stood by himself, because Pharisees stood apart from the crowd to preserve their purity before God. And then he began to pray, “God, I thank you that I am not like other people: thieves, rogues, adulterers, or even like this tax collector. I fast twice a week; I give a tenth of all my income.” He was a man who practiced the disciplines of refraining from eating along with making generous donations to the temple.
The guy had no regrets.
“But the tax collector,” said Jesus, “standing far off, would not even look up to heaven, but was beating his breast and saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, a sinner!’” In contrast to the Pharisee, the tax collector was full of regrets.
In the time of Jesus, tax collectors were actually “toll collectors,” and the toll system “was open to abuse and corruption. The toll collectors were often not natives of the area where they worked, and their wealth and collusion with the Roman oppressors made them targets of scorn.”
Abuse. Corruption. Collusion with Rome. Yes, the tax collector could have joined Johnny Cash in singing, “I wear this crown of thorns / Upon my liar’s chair.” He asked for God’s mercy, because he knew that there was much that he could not repair.
Then Jesus concluded the parable by saying: “I tell you, this man went down to his home justified rather than the other; for all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted”. The tax collector went home justified, which means that he was restored to a right relationship with God. The Pharisee, on the other hand, was not justified, which means that he remained out of whack with God. The Pharisee exalted himself, putting his faith in himself instead of in God. And the result was that he was humbled.
This parable is a perfect illustration of the power of regret. The tax collector was justified because he put his faith completely in God, asking God to be merciful to him. He took an honest look at his past, regretted many of his actions, and asked for God to forgive him.
The tax collector cared deeply about being right with God, so he confessed his sins and asked for God’s mercy. He was humble enough to know that he needed help, and his request was granted because he made it with honesty and humility.
God really wants to forgive people who are willing to say, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!”
Honesty and humility. These are the qualities that can help make us right with God and with the people around us.
Our challenge is to get out of the “liar’s chair” and begin to see ourselves honestly. None of us has a right to stand up and boast about our moral superiority, saying we have no regrets. Yes, we might think of ourselves as being giving, compassionate, loving and respectful — that’s how Christians tend to describe other Christians, according to a recent survey by the Episcopal Church.
But is that the truth? When non-Christians are asked to describe Christians, they tend to use words such as “hypocritical,” “judgmental” and “self-righteous.”
That makes us sound like the Pharisee in the parable.
“There is a disconnect between the reality of Jesus and the perceived reality of Christians,” says Archbishop Michael Curry, the presiding bishop of the Episcopal Church. He encourages us to be honest about the fact that Christians have a long history of fighting over major moral issues, such as the conflict between pastors who supported the institution of slavery and Christian abolitionists who fought against slavery. Christians need to admit that very often, says Curry, “we have been silent in the midst of unspeakable horrors when we should have spoken up.”
The first step is to see ourselves honestly, as the tax collector did, and express regret about our failures.
After seeing ourselves clearly, we need to show some true humility. In this, we should listen to the words of the apostle Paul, who urged the Philippians to do nothing “from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Our role model for this is Jesus, who “emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death — even death on a cross” (vv. 7-8).
Humble. Self-emptying. Obedient. These are the qualities of Jesus Christ and his true followers, qualities that led to Christ’s exaltation. Remember, said Jesus, “all who exalt themselves will be humbled, but all who humble themselves will be exalted”. The path to God’s future includes serving others sacrificially, as we follow a Lord who “came not to be served but to serve” (Matthew 20:28).
All of us have regrets. Every single one of us. We are “full of broken thoughts” about things “we cannot repair.” But looking backward, with honesty and humility, can help us move forward to a glorious future, as faithful followers of Jesus Christ.
Let us pray.
In today’s Gospel we learn from Jesus about humility. Let us ask him to help us to learn this essential trait. We pray to the Lord.
We pray that we may die to our fears and dreads. May we bury our false stories in the past. May we rise in this Lenten season in the glorious story of Christ’s love within our hearts. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for people who have been abandoned by society. May our brothers who live with mental illness find hope in our care for them. May our sisters who live under cardboard find shelter because of our witness to the dignity of life. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for our efforts to heal the earth. May we bury seeds in our common soil for food for the next generation. May new life spring up from our earth and joy be found within us. We pray to the Lord.
Let us pray for an enduring sense of awe. May God heal tensions among us and help us see the beauty of relationships. May we lift our voices in praise and gratitude. We pray to the Lord.
We pray that we will empty our hearts of regret and hatred. May reconciliation become a reality in family life. May hope be given to us as daily bread. We pray to the Lord.
For all who suffer in any way — the sick, dying and grieving; those who deal with mental anguish, depression, anxiety or addiction; those who suffer through war or who face injustice or persecution. May they find solace, healing and peace. We pray to the Lord.
On this St Patrick’s Day, we pray for all the people of Ireland and all the world, that they may be filled with the courage and spirituality of St Patrick and overcome the many challenges they may be facing facing at this time. We pray to the Lord.
We ask that the Holy Spirit lead some benefactors to our humble parish and see our vision and invest in our ministry and parish so that we may have the financial wherewithal to continue our ministry. We also pray for vocations to the priesthood. We pray to the Lord.
For those on our parish prayer list, that they may receive swift answers to their needs and that they may find consolation through Christ’s healing presence. We pray to the Lord.
We bow our heads and remember in silence our own personal intentions and the intentions of those who have asked for our prayers (pause). We pray to the Lord.
God of great love, grant us the courage to honestly open our hearts as we come to you in prayer. As we admit our weaknesses, we know we will receive your loving understanding and come away strengthened because of our conversation with you.
Forgive us for the times when we have been less than patient with others.
We regret the instances when we have not given others the mercy that has been extended to us.
We are sorry when we trivialize the important issues and exaggerate the small stuff.
Forgive us for all the occasions when we fly off the handle … and thank you for the people in our lives who love us anyway.
And we ask you, loving God, to grant us the grace to forgive ourselves. Help us to let go of the times when we have been less than our best. When others have forgiven us and when you have long forgotten, we still harbor feelings of shame and remorse. Help us to let go … and love ourselves anyway, just as you love us. We pray the lessons of the past in our world, where hatred and fighting have been redeemed by love and forgiveness, might give us hope for the future. We pray in the name of Jesus Christ, who came that we might follow in love and life eternal. Amen.
God Love You.
The Most Rev. Robert Winzens
Pastor – St. Francis Chapel
San Diego, CA.
As a small parish, we come to you all as beggars! All non-profits compete for your support, and many serve the community’s great needs, and we do not ask you to stop giving to them. But maybe one week or month, we ask that you consider a small donation to our humble parish. Your generous support also allows us to continue these important projects that fuel the movement of progressive Christianity. God will look on your donation grant you his grace in abundance! Thank you and God bless you! +++
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