Jesus said that the Kingdom is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. He then told the parable of the forgiving king and the unforgiving servant. It seems obvious that receiving forgiveness and forgiving are related. But how can we learn to forgive? How can we learn to forgive ourselves? How can we learn to forgive others?
In the parable, the king forgave the servant all of his debt even though it was enormous.
That forgiveness meant that the slate was clean, that the servant owed absolutely nothing, that he was accepted as if the debt had never existed. What a gift, what mercy, what grace, what love. One would think that the servant would have felt so good that he could not have done anything but forgive his fellow servant a much smaller debt. But that is not what happened. Why not?
Maybe what was operative in the life of this servant is something all of us struggle with daily. Even though his death was forgiven by the king, he could not believe that he was really forgiven, so he could not forgive himself. He was angry with himself because he had failed to pay the debt he owed. Self-image was very low. One way to deal with such anger towards oneself is to project the anger onto someone else. So, when another servant came along who owed the first servant some money, instead of being forgiving, he turned all of his angry self-recrimination onto the other person.
Haven't you sometimes had the experience of feeling anger towards yourself because of something you have done and then finding yourself almost inadvertently projecting that anger on to someone else, someone safe, someone who had definitely nothing to do with the situation, maybe a spouse or dear friend? Here with this person was a safe place for you to vent your anger, which was really anger towards yourself. Our human relationships are so complex, and we all so desperately wish to feel good about ourselves, that sometimes we do very foolish things to try to convince ourselves that we are okay, even if it means angrily putting someone else down in the process.
When we can't believe that we are really forgiven, when we can't forgive ourselves, it is easy to be like the unforgiving servant, isn't it? The unforgiving servant could not believe that he was really forgiven, his slate was clean, and that he owed absolutely nothing. The unforgiving servant believed that his debt had been merely extended, not forgiven.
But the servant was in fact forgiven, and we are forgiven. Our slates are wiped clean. Our debts are paid. No matter what we have done or not done, our God Forgives us. And that means that God loves us and accepts us as the same as if we were as perfect as Christ, because through Christ we are.
What if we really experienced that forgiveness? Recently a daughter of a friend shared with me an experience of being forgiven. When she was a teenager, her youth group spent a New Year's Eve gathered around a fireplace talking together about all that had transpired during the previous year. They concluded the evening by each writing a list of their failures from the previous year for which they wanted to be forgiven. Then each of them brought their lists of failures to the fire. Their adviser was a very wise woman who talked individually with each of them, conveying to them that God would forgive, would erase these things that they had written on their sheet of paper. Just as surely as the fire burned up the piece of paper just so would God erase their failures, and they could start the new year, with a totally clean slate.
Can we believe that we are forgiven? Can we believe that God our king forgives us and gives us clean slates? Can you believe that God our king forgives us and wipes away our failures? Can you believe that through Christ we are okay? Can you believe that we are accepted, that we are loved, that we are forgiven?
In the assurance that we are accepted and loved and forgiven can we not accept and love and forgive ourselves? Then, free from angry self-recrimination, can we not accept and love and forgive others?
Let us pray.
In today’s gospel Jesus reminds us that if we are to gain forgiveness from our Heavenly Father, we in turn must practice forgiveness in our daily lives. We pray for the grace to forgive those who may have offended us and to banish resentment, anger and hatred from our lives. We pray to the Lord.
We pray with confidence that our loving Father forgive us our many transgressions, for which we are truly sorry, and give us the strength to live our lives in closer accord with his commandments. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for those who we have offended by thought, word or deed and who have shown Christian charity in forgiving and forgetting our transgressions. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for the victims of crime that they find consolation in the words of Christ and that they learn to forgive those who may have gravely affected their lives. We pray to the Lord.
At this time when our oceans, our eco-systems and so many people are struggling to survive the effects of global warming, we pray for the wisdom and determination to live a life which is not selfishly centered on ourselves but on the survival of God’s creation. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for the people of Morocco and Libya who this week have suffered the terrible consequences of the world’s neglect and abuse of our common world. We pray to the Lord.
We continue to pray for an end to the internal conflict and human rights violations in Ethiopia and for Russia to end its unfounded aggression toward Ukraine. We pray to the Lord.
We pray for the world’s nations to act and assist the many countries experiencing floods this year. We pray to the Lord.
For generous benefactors who can help our tiny parish with needed repairs and better fiscal foundation. We pray to the Lord.
For those on our parish prayer list, that they may receive swift answers to their needs and that they may find consolation through Christ’s healing presence. We pray to the Lord.
We bow our heads and remember in silence our own personal intentions and the intentions of those who have asked for our prayers (pause). We pray to the Lord.
Eternal and loving Father, you comfort, support and encourage us. Your goodness and kindness go beyond our understanding. Your grace is richer and deeper than we can begin to comprehend. Yet despite your gracious love and faithful care, we seek to go our own way and to trust our own resources, while we intellectually know our forgiveness from you, we continue to not forgive ourselves. Time after time, we choose our plans over your will. Over and over again, our pride, self-reliance and self-centeredness lead us astray. Day after day, we allow self-recrimination to take place in our lives. We confess we are sinners in need of forgiveness. We admit we are flawed, broken people in need of mercy. Now we must accept it.
You, gracious God, are love itself, and perfect love casts out fear. Come to us in merciful patience, we pray, to love us from fear to trust, from anger to grace, from doubt to faith. Love us from our self-centeredness to hearts that willingly give themselves in selfless sacrifice and service. Love us out of our scarcity to hearts overflowing with generosity. Love us from brokenness to wholeness, from resentments and forgiveness withheld to forgiveness freely offered just as it has been freely offered to us. Love us from our self-hate and lack of forgiving ourselves. Come to us, Lord, overwhelming us with your love that we might love as you first loved us.
Amen.
God Love You.
The Most Rev. Robert Winzens
Pastor – St. Francis Chapel
San Diego, CA.
As a small parish, we come to you all as beggars! All non-profits compete for your support, and many serve the community’s great needs, and we do not ask you to stop giving to them. But maybe one week or month, we ask that you consider a small donation to our humble parish. Your generous support also allows us to continue these important projects that fuel the movement of progressive Christianity. God will look on your donation grant you his grace in abundance! Thank you and God bless you! +++
Comments